Reflections

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October 12, 2017: I started my new medicine Monday. The reality of living with fibromyalgia set in yesterday. I'm going to have good and bad days. I don't know if my good days or bad days will out weigh the other. I literally started crying because I'm going to live with this pain for the rest of my life. The arthritis and fibromyalgia. It's scary thinking that I just turned 32 and I already have all of these painful issues.
Tuesday while I was working, i felt amazing. I didn't really hurt except for my arthritis. After I went home, I started getting stiff and hurting. Then Wednesday was miserable. I left work early. I could barely move let alone walk. I still had to drive home. Once I got home I just went to bed and slept. I woke up and I was still hurting and miserable. I cried. I was depressed. I wanted to snap my fingers and turn the pain off. I even wanted to blink myself home, in bed, in my pajamas, all covered up and warm. I couldn't deal with the pain and it physically exhausted me. My muscles were tight and would spasm when I wanted them to be still.
I used my essential oils on my legs, and I'm noticing that when I do I'm not as bad the next day in combination with the medicine.  I don't know if that's coincidental or not. Maybe the medicine is just trying to work on my body. Maybe the weather is playing a role in my pain.
My nightmares have been worse just the past few days.  Waking up from being chased like I always am in my nightmares.
Today however, is not so bad. My knees hurt some but it's getting cooler here in this part of the U.S.A. It's hoodie weather and I'm excited for it. However I know cold weather will make me hurt. I get to watch the trees change colors though.
This morning I walked out of the house and it was so peaceful and beautiful and the temperature was perfect. I had to stop and say a prayer to God and thank him for this amazingly beautiful day.

This is my blog. This is my voice.
HEAR ME ROAR

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