Family is Tough Sometimes

To my reader's, I thought I should come here and blog about recent events. 

My brother-in-law has been diagnosed with stage 4 non-alcoholic liver disease aka NASH. I do feel like I know nothing about this horrible disease. However, I probably know more than you , my reader, just because I am learning about it as I go. He sleeps a lot due to the ammonia levels in his system.  He's extremely jaundice, which for anyone who doesn't know, he looks yellow, including the whites of his eyes. 

Today seems to be a good day. He seems very alert and less confused than other times. Some days he is not alert, and can barely function. 

We've called in hospice and he is currently under their care. I never thought I'd be 38 years of age and dealing with hospice for a brother! It's overwhelming to say the least. So much to do, learn and ask. We've received some great things from them to help him around the house to be independent. He is a guy that desires to be independent so much, but needs things like a walker, Depends, and other things to make life easier for his situation. 

I wish more people knew my brother-in-law and knew how much of a teddy bear he is. He loves deeply his brother, and me, even more! He loves playing online games, transformers, and grumpy cat. He is a cat person.  I wish we could have gotten a cat for him, however at this point in time it's not possible. We desire to take him to a somewhat nearby zoo as a final big trip for him. He made me promise that if we have kids, that I'd tell them about him.  This is my way of telling you about him and a reminder to tell my kids about him. 

Hospice has been so helpful so far. I wish I knew more of what they offer. I haven't had time to read up about it yet.  My husband and I have had a very miserable week. Monday and Wednesday was spent taking care of him at a nearby hospital getting tests ran and then getting results back. Wednesday was the worse day ever. That is when we found out he has a few months left to live.

We plan to make the most of what is left for him. We will do what it takes to keep him home. The other night he fell. In the middle of the night.  My husband got up, and came here to care for him. Family is tough at times, but we love them and will do what it takes.

I know that I've spent the whole time talking about him, but I've also lost my job. I guess it's a blessing in disguise. I don't know. I am looking for a new job currently, but I don't know if I should be looking for one, so I can care for my brother-in-law. 

I'm lost, confused, overwhelmed, sad, and depressed right now. 

This is my voice. This is my blog.  

HEAR ME ROAR