Quit

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July 2, 2017: I keep thinking about the song Million Reasons by Lady Gaga. After today those words ring so true. I keep trying to do the correct things at work and my boss made me feel a little better by telling me that he has noticed my effort. However, my co-workers are the ones giving me the "million reasons to quit the show" right now. I clocked out today with every intention of quitting. I'm tired of trying to do the right thing and yet I have 3 people fighting against me doing whatever they want to. I feel like I'm fighting one person against a whole battalion in battle. I was told that I have been an emotional wreck the past couple of weeks and I can't explain why. I started crying today for no reason not knowing why. I wanted to turn it off. I  wanted to flip the emotional switch back to off, just like in The Vampire Diaries.
I have my good and dear friend Frank , that I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him as a friend to talk to. I also need to mention Autumn. We recently connected and through this blog, I'm helping her. However,  she is helping me just by being there to listen and relate. I have hoped that through this blog I could help people understand the struggle behind ptsd. I never in my dreams imagined it would help serve as a comfort and inspiration to others like myself. I guess just knowing that you are not alone out there in this big, big world is a true comfort. If you know someone like myself, please feel free to share my blog to them.
I have calmed down a lot since I spoke with my boss, Frank and Autumn. The rage that I felt is like nothing else. I felt angry at everyone at work. I'm still very frustrated but things are trying to be worked out now. I know they are. I have to sit back and allow God to do his thing. Allow my boss to solve the problems. I have to remind myself to sit on the sidelines. I see certain people that I don't want to be like and sometimes I get very loud wake up calls showing me how I am acting like that person and I have to step back a minute.
Another song that comes to mind is "My Prerogative" by Brittney Spears.
Until next time.....

This is my blog. This is my voice.
HEAR ME ROAR!

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