Mental Exhaustion

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July 10, 2017: Right now I have so much on my mind, and it's mentally exhausting. I have so much going on at work. I have one co-worker who just lost her place to live at. My boss was trying to get somebody hired on, however part of the process you have to go through to get hired on did not fall through for this new hire. Saturday I went to Urgent Care due to a severe UTI. I was unable to pee for a few hours. Not fun! Apparently I'm just really prone to getting UTIs. I'm feeling much better now but I'm still having some pain. I've worked things out with Aladdin and he's apologized and I've been helping him at his kiosk. He's been wanting me to help him run it on some days, but there's times that I can't and I wished I could. I don't understand the actions of others. For some reason though I always desire to understand. Some days it drives me absolutely crazy not understanding others and it makes me feel like I'm alone. Oftentimes I feel like common sense is no longer common. Common sense sometimes makes me look incredibly smart. I had one person asked me if I was given Naproxen for my UTI. I said no I was given an antibiotic. The person that asked this was incredibly surprised that I was not given Naproxen or any other pain medicine. I've just learned to deal with the pain. I get very frustrated when people try to tell me how to live. I had one person tell me that I should get up at 6 a.m. and get busy doing things. I'm sorry, this is my life. You're not in my shoes. Please don't tell me how to live my life. Until you've walked a mile in my shoes you don't know where I've been, and you have no business telling me how to live my life. Right now I lay here in bed wishing that most of the pain that I feel would go away. Some of my pain  is my arthritis, and some of my pain is from my PTSD and anxiety. However, I will go to sleep here in a few, get up in the morning, and go work. My everyday struggle is just that, my struggle. So many people are quick to judge. Sometimes I'm guilty of it myself. I try to think of the other person and think about their personal feelings and thoughts and their past. Sometimes I just don't care! I feel like I've become cold hearted. I feel like I've become cruel and no longer caring. Many of the "boys" I dated in the past taught me not to care because they didn't care. I made a New Year's resolution to myself this year that I would not date anybody. So far I've held to it. I remind myself of the pain I was put through by all the "boys" I dated.
I hope everyone has a good day whenever it is you read this. I know this blog isn't anything earth-shattering, however, I never feel like any of them are earth-shattering or anything new. I know people are reading these and I appreciate it. I hope it helps other people like myself, and maybe helps other people understand. Good day and good night to all.

This is my blog. This is my voice.
HEAR ME ROAR

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