My Daily Struggle

I'm gonna rant! Ugh... why is it when you post something that you fully whole heartedly believe in, on your Facebook page,  that someone else disagrees with you, that they have to leave your friend list and block you, and argue with your friends over it? Seriously,  if you have a problem with my beliefs or don't hold the same beliefs, then so what! I don't understand how grown adults can act so childish over beliefs and values of others. Why are we teaching our kids that you can't be friends with someone else of a different color and race, or someone with different values and beliefs? That is the big problem with society now. I got unfriended by a cousin in law and now a former neighbor of mine because I have different beliefs about the BLM and Breonna Taylor case. Apparently you have to believe in the BLM even though that in and of itself is racist and I believe breonna Taylor was not totally innocent.  At this point in time I no longer care if I loose more friends ove...

October now and married life is great. We have decorated the house for Halloween and I'd love to get more decorations for the house on the outside.  He is thinking about getting some paint and Styrofoam to make tomb stones. I can't wait to make those!  Wednesday the 7th, I was bowling really good and then I went to bowl at one point during the 3rd game and hyper extended my 2 middle fingers.  My ring finger got it the worst.  So I'm not going to be bowling this week. I'm in a league with my husband, a friend and a coworker of his.  We, (I), finally ordered  our wedding album from shutterfly and can't wait to see them in person. I need to get a wedding picture for our picture frame that we got as a gift. Then on Tuesday the 20th I went to the urgent care department and found out that I may have diverticulitis. I have to go to my Dr and get some tests done to confirm the urgent care Dr's suspicion of it. Im not sure what my Dr will want to do but I know CT Sc...

I reckon I should blog to try to get things off my chest.   Yesterday I found out some news about one of my ex-bfs. I found out that he passed away from a major cardiac arrest. Apart of me wants to rejoice in the fact that I no longer have to worry about running into him ever again. Apart of me feels sorry for him and his daughter and family. The conflict is real. He passed away on labor day and the day before my brother's birthday. All day yesterday my mind was filled with the horrible memories that I now know was of him cheating on me. Rather the memories of him cheating on his woman by spending time with me and spending time with my family. My husband tried to remind me of the memories with him. However, just as PTSD normally behaves I couldn't think and focus on those memories. I have the memories of me and my husband, the day he proposed,  swimming in his aunt's pool, going to the farmer's market, painting and cleaning up our house, picking out our mattress for our...

I feel like I have been struggling to be a good woman and wife to my husband. I feel like I can't keep up my energy level to come home and cook supper for him or clean house. I barely have enough energy to do laundry for both of us. What am I doing wrong? I feel like I have done nothing but travel for work this month. Is it wrong for me to want to make a little more money for us to pay bills with? Do all women struggle with these feelings or is it just me? How do women with kids maintain a good and clean home? All I want to do is come home and relax after a day of work. I have things to buy and pay for. Bills coming out of my account. How can I take care of him, when I can't take care of myself? I sometimes feel like we actually have 4 people to care for,  not just us, but in a small way we do have 4 people to care for including our own selves.  His mom and brother. We shop for them and he takes care of them by taking them to appointments.  This is my voice. This is my bl...

Well, I've officially been married for 8 days now. We didn't go anywhere special for our honeymoon. However, we did still enjoy time with each other. We are still trying to get moved in together, but we are mostly in now. Yesterday my husband got introduced to my dad's familly, almost weekly crisis. A elderly horse slipped and fell and cracked a rib the vet thinks. He's ok just a little sore, banged up, and slow. Today is my first day back to work, meanwhile, he goes back tomorrow.  Yay us!  Some may ask what are my thoughts on the riots. Well, I personally think they are stupid. Walmart is closing early. My job closed last week while I was off. The riots are not honoring what he would want according to his own family. It is only causing a headache for those who don't want to participate. I feel like they need to get over this racism stuff and "kiss and make up" as I once heard.  This is my blog. This is my voice.  HEAR ME ROAR 

I'm so stressed out and angry. It's 12 days before the wedding and we have no tuxes for the wedding and men's wearhouse is beating around the bush and will ignore me and talk to me then all of a sudden. They say they are looking into something and to give them a moment. So I give them a moment and then I ask what did they find out and I get a standardized message saying they are experiencing high volumes and to wait till they can get to me. I replied this is unacceptable. I've been on hold since 8 am! David's Bridal is open. There is no reason why men's wearhouse can't be opened and give us our tuxes on time and in a decent time before the wedding.  Not on the 29th possibly through the mail. Rant over!  I can't wait until May 30th. I'm getting married!  It's becoming more and more exciting and real everyday for us.   This is my blog. This is my voice.  HEAR ME ROAR.

Well I'm still alive and well for now. I'm surviving. My fiance and I found a good house to live in. It is small but perfect for starting out. I hope everyone has had a good Easter holiday. I spent it with my parents. So far wedding is still on track to happen just not sure about the reception part and having our guests be there too. I've been off work for about a month now but I'm staying busy cleaning up the house, painting it and getting it ready for moving in, in about a month. I can't believe that the wedding is only 38 days away from now. Today we got some furniture delivered to our house and we were able to get it paid off in 2 payments due to my unemployment.  My fiance and I are both doing well and have some family members that are in need of prayers. We also need your prayers as we start our new adventure in our new home and in marriage.  This is my voice. This is my blog.  HEAR ME ROAR